Gone Novelin’

I have been remiss in my posting, largely because I am writing a novel. I hope to be done with the very very very very very rough draft by January 8th. Wish me luck.

Bridge Escape

I call my sister before leaving work to see if we are still on for dinner tonight, and she comes back with “Tommy (her friend who is a cop) just got off the phone with me because a plane hit a building in the city.” I immediately go into list mode:

water-bottle? check. cell phone? check. snacks and lifesavers? check.

“Let’s see what the cops are doing,” another teacher says, leaving the lounge to go look out the sliver of window in the hallway that overlooks police headquarters. “Lot of sirens out there.”

I drop off my attendance sheets and take off accross the bridge, checking in with my sister and mom (Daltron is in class and has his phone off) during parts of it.

As soon as I hit Brooklyn dirt, my blood pressure immediately drops.

Now is time for whiskey.

When Will You Die?

Calculate your life expectancy here. It said I would live to be amost 92. (It didn’t ask about my habit of playing in traffic.)

McHaiku

Make your own McSign here.

Dalton Paparazzo

Dalton is about to set off on his first day of school as an art major after having the epiphany that Econ is a really boring major. Look out for him in the bushes, famous people!

Lego NYC

A grown-up who lists LEGO model maker as his occupation? I am way jealous.

Advice for Amanda Congdon and Star Jones “Reynolds”

Why don’t you ladies start a show together? Star, look for Amanda here. Amanda, I am sending you a copy of Star’s new book, Shine. Now talk amongst yourselves.

Parachute Jump Gets Lit

Although I expected a bit more Marty Markowitz-style hoopla to surround the historic lighting of the Parachute Jump, I still though it looked quite pretty:

Before Lighting

After Lighting

Also, I know these people have been generating a lot of press, but I sampled their wares and I must report: coney island shortcakes are vile, damn near inedible. Someone went a little heavy on the baking soda, imparting a metallic/bitter flavor to the cake and highlighting the oversugared and limp berries. The whipped cream is fine, I guess.

Cesar Millan to Phil Jackson: Your Dog is Neurotic!

One of the most delightful episodes of The Dog Whisperer I've seen to date was recorded by TiVo on Friday and I'm watching it today. Cesar is schooling Phil Jackson's galpal on how to take command of her maltese, Princess Cujo. Phil Jackson intimates that he uses Cesar-like techniques on the Lakers. Hi-bloody-larious!

Brooklyn Queens Day

Even though this is the first year that ALL NYC public school students get the first Thursday after the first Monday in June off, this formerly joyous day is tinged with bitterness: teachers in Brooklyn and Queens have to attend staff development rather than taking the subway to the unchosen boroughs and mocking their colleagues. Personally, since this is my first year teaching in Manhattan after previously teaching in Brooklyn, I think it's only fair that those slackers have to schlep to work too.

Kenny Bruno has an interesting take on BQ Day in the Queens Ledger, including the origin of the somewhat mysterious holiday:

Long Live Brooklyn Queens Day By Kenny Bruno
Brooklyn Queens Day was sweet. Brooklyn Queens Day was special. BQ Day was, as MS 51 graduate Joshua Paris says, simply, "the best holiday ever."
But Brooklyn Queens Day is no more. This year students in all boroughs have the day off, while teachers in all boroughs must work. My 14-year old daughter calls this "the most disturbing thing I have heard in my entire life." A weapon in her fight against the "Brooklyn Sucks" crowd across the river has been coldy confiscated.
R.I.P., BQ Day. Let us now praise Brooklyn Queens Day.
I suppose the single most delightful thing about Brooklyn Queens Day was that it was a day off from school for no apparent reason. Grownups had to work and therefore couldn't schedule any vacation-like activities. Unlike Christmas or Thanksgiving, there were no holiday curricula, no commercials, no traditions to uphold and no family events to attend. It came in June, during the best weather and longest days. The kicker was that no one else had this day off. You could actually go to Manhattan and see to it that your Manhattan friends, if you had any, would look enviously at you from inside their prisons.
Or you could play basketball. You could watch Gilligan's Island. When you were older, you could go behind the school and…well, nevermind.
BQ Day was marvelously uncontroversial. There are no records of Bronx people protesting the exclusion of their borough. A review of Brooklyn Eagle letters to the editor from the early 20th century reveals that some people did get upset when the schools opened one year, but who can blame them?
Another lovely thing about Brooklyn Queens Day was the lack of information. We never asked, and were never told, what it was about.
Now that its era has ended, I will hereby reveal the murky origins of this most meaningless of holidays (and I say that in the most affectionate way). Drum roll, please.
What was originally called Anniversary Day started in 1814 to celebrate the founding of the Protestant Sunday School Union.
Yep, that's it folks. That's the whole story.
How did the glory that is Brooklyn Queens Day evolve from these humble beginnings? The crucial moment, according to a 2002 article in the Brooklyn Papers by Paulanne Simmons, came around the Civil War era, when "a bill was drafted declaring Anniversary Day an official school holiday in Brooklyn, but not a bank holiday." Genius. Brooklyn became part of NYC in 1898, but el pueblo certainly was not going to give up this perk.
But hold on a sec. "A bill was drafted??" This is no time for the passive voice, Ms. Simmons! This was a legislative legacy that would father generations of fond memories. Who drafted it?
Well, no one seems to remember who wrote the bill. But whoever it was, we love 'em.
This seems like a good time to settle one contentious aspect of holiday history and nomenclature. During research for this article, both the Brooklyn historian Ron Schweiger and my friend Jenna, who is from Bay Ridge, reported that growing up they called it "Brooklyn Day." Jenna tried to suppress a supercilious look as she said it, but we both knew this was a slight to Queens.
Now even the Queens library website acknowledges that this great tradition started in Brooklyn. But a mere century after the passing of the aforementioned landmark legislation, the Queens Federation of Churches pushed through a bill closing schools in both Queens and Brooklyn. Since both boroughs were part of New York City by then, the signing of this bill surely counts as one of Governor Nelson Rockefeller's most remarkable political acts.
Thus, since 1959 BQ Day has been a bi-boro bonanza. The former Interboro Parkway is mostly in Queens and only a little in Brooklyn, but it wasn't called the Mostly Queens Parkway! Enough with the Brooklyn chauvinism, Jenna. The Day belonged to both boroughs.
And wherefore the demise of BQ Day? At first I thought there might be deep significance, something to do with Brooklyn and Queens becoming so hip and so expensive that they no longer needed what some might think of as Underdog Day. But the culprit, I'm afraid, is an organization to which several of my ancestors belonged, the United Federation of Teachers. In 2005, the teachers signed a contract, which stipulates that the first Thursday in June shall be a school holiday for the entire city (though teachers have to work on staff development). Thus did the UFT undo the fine work of the Queens Federation of Churches and negotiate away our patrimony.
But wait, say the UFT lawyers. Look at subparagraph 7.C of the October 6 2005 Memorandum of Agreement, to wit: "All teachers…will also have a professional day on Brooklyn-Queens day." In other words, kids in all boroughs are off, yet it is stilled called Brooklyn-Queens Day. Hallelujah, the BQE is saved from being the only thing left in this world with both "Brooklyn" and "Queens" in its name.
Brooklyn Queens Day as we knew it is no more, but its spirit lives on. For example, there will still be marches in both boroughs commemorating the lack of school this June 8. The Anniversary Day Parade celebrating Christian Education in Brooklyn and Queens is scheduled to start on Fresh Pond Road and 68th Avenue at 10:30 a.m. The marchers are heading to Myrtle Avenue and back.
And I bet you didn't know that just a half-hour later not even two miles south, the Brooklyn Sunday School Union, a federation of dozens of churches, is holding its 178th annual parade not far from the site of the first Anniversary Day parade in 1829. They will start on Thomas Boyland Avenue and Fulton Street at 11 a.m. If you're still on your way from the Queens parade at that time, you can catch them by noon or so at Stuyvesant Avenue and Fulton. The route will finish at Brown Memorial Baptist Church in Fort Greene.
Councilwoman Letitia James marches every year. I asked Ms. James, a Brooklyn girl who represents Fort Greene, what would be different this year. She said, "Nothing is different. No one comes out, but we're going to march like we always do." And how did she feel about Manhattanites getting to join in? "I never paid any attention to them anyway."
Touche, Councilwoman. See you at the parade. And Long Live Brooklyn Queens Day.