Yesterday I saw The Libertine. Johnny Depp, who plays the Earl of Rochester, starts off looking like a ghoul and ends up looking like a tin-nosed bagel-face with a shmear of jelly poking through the cream cheese.
This is the first movie with Monsieur Depp that I’ve seen since I broke up with John Cusack (my movie boyfriend since 1997) because he hasn’t been aging well, and deciding to transfer the ardor onto Johnny.
The Libertine was not the best way to begin our new relationship. I was glad I wasn’t going out to eat afterwards.