To paraphrase Homer Simpson on beer: The cause of and solution to all of my problems.
Money makes me feel anxious. And money makes me feel safe. And money makes me resent the things I do for it.
This past summer my husband quit his day job and begun to work full time on the web design business he started with a friend last year. I could not help but feel that the four years I had put into building my own small business had been misspent. (Sometimes I make pretty things out of money.) Upon further reflection, I realized that I lacked his enthusiasm for my side project, that doing what it would take to make my business my sole income source would involve scaling up production to a level that would make me hate it.
And so – hiatus from the side project. Refocus. Recalibration. Renewal.
Add to the mix an impending birthday to underscore my feelings of needing a legacy project, and you have the makings for a search. So far it has lead me here and here and here. And I will be doing this.
In short, I am still assembling the bits and it remains to be seen what they will add up to.